the first part of my story

‘I never thought that this is how I’d hit the floor’ – Bullet For my Valentine

I lived my life with the knowledge that I would die doing drugs. I never gave a second thought to quitting, that would mean quitting who I was. I never wanted to change. The old grandpa in ‘Little Miss Sunshine” that is how I saw myself 50 years down the road. Still getting high, still taking life for anything it gave me. I can’t believe I went to jail. I don’t even remember how it was that I was driving around.

The last thing I remember was parking my car, waiting for a friend, the next thing I was at a stop light in handcuffs. It was then while sitting in jail waiting for someone, anyone, to visit me, that I realized this was going to be it for me. All my friends on the run and in the jail told me that since it was only my first time: make it my last. The friend a few cells down from me signed for 20 years and he still has other charges pending. His newborn child was born and died while he sat in jail. County lockup wasn’t nearly as bad as you’d think, there was food to eat, time to sleep, but it was a place I didn’t want to go back to so it was time to face the music.

A virtual stranger now bonded me out after a month. I hadn’t seen him in nearly 5 months and yet he came into town and the first thing he did was bond me out of jail. Amazing. A miracle some would say, for no one else in this town was going to bond me out as had already been made apparent. And then things changed completely.