if only it were so easy

I don't know what the hell I am going to do. I DON'T KNOW. Some days I feel as if nothing in the world can stop me. But nothing lines up in the end, there are all these things I could possibly do and yet I can not pick a single thing. All these opportunities and I don't know where to go. I have always been nothing and feel as if that I will always be. The rest of the time I know there is nothing I can do. I see all these things I want and know they will always be outside my grasp. "Is it to late has the damage all been done, Is it to late to reverse what we've become" and the answer is always yes. I can no longer remember what it is to be happy. All there is is irritability, impatience, sadness, and an endless waiting for something better.