ready fuels

"Running down the ready fuels it's finally over, just get over
Time will tell if all turns out ok
Help me to realize my dream is dying redefine despair
I turned away
So look the other way tonight"

desperate i will crawl

I just found out a way to talk to an old friend of mine. Our lives went different paths tracing back to one night. I knew hell lay down that path but what could I say to them to make them choose the right one? Absolutely nothing. And so now all is said and done and she needs help.
I wish I could take away the pain of all my friends and take it as my own. There is no way for this to happen but I can still dream. Instead I have to try and be there for them when they need help. It gives my life meaning.

'this time imperfect'

I have failed many a time. I always wanted to get things right though, however intentions really don't count for much in life. Now I have come to the point where I have used up all my chances at failure and this time success is the only viable option. So no matter what it takes I've decided I want this. I have so far been asked to do several things I did not want to do but ah well, apparently that is the way life is supposed to go.

what have i become

Do you ever feel like you're the only person in the world? I can go and forget any contact I've had with people during the day and go and feel totally alone for some reason. It takes alot to get me out of that mood, sometimes I get stuck in it for days. Today is one of those days. I get the feeling somedays I'm going crazy. I guess its due to the fact that I don't know what this is. It is a stranger to me. I was used to being surrounded by people day and night and now I'm lucky if I see one friend a week. I don't know what I am becoming but I don't like it, my counselor says the adhd treatment should help with my obsessive worries, and some days it does but some days it doesn't. This is one of those days. If anyone that reads this can relate leave a comment or something, its nice to know I'm not alone. Or maybe I am and no one else goes through anything like this.


"Die for anyone, WHAT HAVE I BECOME?"

duality

"Pull me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the pieces
Then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality
Is better than the dream
But I've found out the hard way
NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS!
I push my fingers into my...EYES!
It's the only thing
That slowly stops the ache
Jesus it never ends
It pushed its' way inside
If the pain goes onI'm not gonna make it!"